Control The Battle Within
THE BIGGEST MISCONCEPTION I ENCOUNTERED WHILE GROWING UP WAS THAT I NEEDED TO HAVE AN EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO THE CIRCUMSTANCES I FOUND MYSELF IN. I HAVE ALWAYS DRAWN INSPIRATION FROM PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES, MONKS, AND MASTERS IN THEIR RESPECTIVE FIELDS AND CLOSELY OBSERVED THEIR DEMEANOR. I NOTICED A CERTAIN TRANQUILITY IN THEIR EYES AND MANNERISMS. EVEN WHEN CHAOS ENGULFED THEIR SURROUNDINGS, THEY WERE ABLE TO MAINTAIN A SENSE OF CALMNESS.
I TOLD MYSELF THAT I WANTED TO ATTAIN THAT LEVEL OF PEACE AND CONTROL. "WHERE DO I START?" I ASKED MYSELF. I REALIZED THAT I HAD TO BREAK APART EACH ASPECT OF MYSELF, STARTING FROM THE ROOT. WHAT IS PEACE? WHAT PATTERNS FROM MY PAST HAVE BEEN OCCURRING THAT BRING A CYCLE OF FEAR, DEPRESSION, ANGER, AND HAPPINESS? WHAT THOUGHT HABITS HAVE BEEN BENEFICIAL OR HARMFUL TO MY SELF-DEVELOPMENT? WHAT DO I HAVE CONTROL OVER? WHAT DOES THAT PROCESS OF IMPROVEMENT LOOK LIKE?
TO ME, PEACE WAS BEING IN A STATE OF GRATITUDE AND HAVING ABSOLUTE CONTROL OVER ONE'S MIND AND EMOTIONS. I HAVE LEARNED TO UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER EXTERNAL FORCES; I CAN ONLY CONTROL HOW I RESPOND TO THEM. EACH MOMENT I LOSE CONTROL, WHETHER IT'S GETTING STRESSED, DEPRESSED, ANXIOUS, FEARFUL, OR ANGRY, I KNOW I MUST INTERNALIZE THAT VERY MOMENT AND RESET MYSELF.
TAKING THAT VERY MOMENT TO BE PRESENT AND AWARE IS VITAL BECAUSE YOU THEN CAN PROCEED TO ASK YOURSELF IF THE WAY YOU ARE REACTING IS NEGATIVE, AND RATHER RESPOND WITH ACCURATE INTENTIONS. FROM THE SMALLEST INCONVENIENCES TO THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS, IT’S IMPORTANT TO PRACTICE THIS WAY OF LIFE TO CREATE A STEADY HOLD WITHIN YOURSELF. HOW YOU DO ANYTHING IS HOW YOU DO EVERYTHING. FOR MYSELF, IN THOSE MOMENTS, I MAKE SURE TO TAKE A BREATH AND REFLECT ON WHERE MY ACTIONS ARE GOING TO TAKE ME.
HOW I RESPOND WILL DICTATE MY TRAJECTORY. NO MATTER WHAT LIFE EVENTS COME MY WAY, DARK OR LIGHT I NOW MAKE CONSCIOUS DECISIONS IN THE WAY I RESPOND. IT’S NOT A SIMPLE PROCESS AND IS A DAILY FIGHT TO IMPROVE UPON. REMEMBER ALL GREAT SKILLS MUST BE EARNED, SO ENJOY THE PROCESS. THIS IDEOLOGY I’VE LEARNED CAME FROM MONK SHI-HENG YI, WHERE YOU MUST RECOGNIZE THERE ARE ALWAYS FLUCTUATIONS WITHIN THIS LIFE AND LEARN NOT TO BE CONTROLLED BY THEM. THIS HAS BEEN ONE ASPECT OF SELF-MASTERY AND BRINGING PEACE TO THE INNER CHAOS.
